Broccoli and Blackeyed Bean Satay

The Cool Kids are constantly asking for this one.

I don’t mind though, it’s fairly simple, very healthy and keeps them quiet while they inhale it!

You have a few options-

>You can chuck all the ingredients in the slow cooker… But i would advise to switch the Broccoli for it’s robust cousin, Cauliflower, otherwise you will just end up with tasty mush!

>You can use peanut free peanut butter if your kids are allergic.


>You can use a variation of veggies to switch it up when you get bored.

>You can take or leave the Flax if you don’t have any.

>If you are worried about your kids consuming salt, you can substitute the Soy Sauce for Coconut Aminos. You can find it in health food shops. It has less salt.

>If you are eating this too, and you like your food spicy, just chuck some chilli flakes into your bowl when you have dished up. Perfic!

What the hell is Flax Weird Vegan Lady?!

Well… It’s a super healthy way of getting some Omega 3’s without feeding your kids the cholesterol laden and polluted poor little fishes. It doesn’t taste of anything, and the little blighters don’t even notice it’s there! Muhahaha!! *Twiddles moustache*


2 Tbsp Groundnut Oil
1 head of Broccoli Florets
1 can of Blackeyed Beans (400g) rinsed and drained
1 can of Coconut Milk (400g)
1/4 ltr Veg Stock
2 heaped Tbsp Peanut Butter
4 Tbsp Soy Sauce
2 TBSP Ground Flax (optional)
Black Pepper

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Let’s start by chucking your beautiful green broccoli florets into your hot Wok, which already has your Oil in it.
Grind in some Black Pepper.
Toss it around until some of the edges have got a pretty seared edge to them. Don’t wait till it’s black… for obvious burny reasons!

Pour in your Veg Stock, and listen to the satisfying sound… proper chef noise that!
Turn your heat down until it’s simmering away but not going completely crazy!
Leave it for a solid 10 minutes, you can poke it around if you like, but don’t toss it with the Veg Stock in… I don’t want to be sued because of your stoopid ass!


Once you have patiently prodded at your Broc, you need to add your Peanut Butter, Soy Sauce and Coconut Milk.
Turn it all over and make a creamy and sloppy mixture, the PB may need a fair go as it will take a while to blend in. It likes to stand out from the crowd… force it to conform. You meany.
Crank the heat up until it comes to a boil, then immediately turn it down to a gentle simmer.
This is when it starts being a bit attention seeking. You need to keep it at a simmer for a good 10 minutes (that’s the same as a bad 10 minutes by the way) but you need to pander to it a bit, tell it it’s looking beautiful, that you appreciate it and caress it with a wooden spoon every couple of minutes so it doesn’t get all upset.


Then you can add your Blackbeans and Flax, if you’re using it, give it a good spoon spin until it’s made friends with the Flax n Beans. Leave it to make love for 3 minutes.


Turn off the heat.
Throw some rice in the bowl from the otherside of the room, grain by grain.
Place a ladle of your delicious potion on top.
Tell your children to put it in their mouths and chew.