April Fools Chicken + Bacon Pie

Fool people with this scarily similar Chicken and Bacon Pie recipe! Trick them with the look, the texture, the flavour AND how much effort went into it! Let me tell you folks, this recipe is a real cheat! Hardly any work whatsoever, and the result is epic! Perfect for dinner parties or sunday lunch…

2 packs of Jus-Rol Shortcrust Pastry
1 tsp or 1 clove of minced Garlic
1 tsp of Parsley
Bacon Crumbles
Quorn Vegan Pieces
Ultimate Decadent Cashew Cheese Sauce


The first thing you need to do, is let your pastry sit out for 10 minutes, otherwise, when you roll it out, it will be totally ridiculous and crack, you will have a breakdown, your guests will have a substandard dinner and you will never get anyone to come and try your food ever again. Well, it may not be quite that bad… but still. Leave the pastry out for a bit, yeah? Pre-heat your oven to 200c.

Roll out your pastry, get a lovely pie dish and line it with non stick paper. Then gently add one of your sheets of pastry, push it down to each bottom edge, making sure you don’t puncture it with your clumsy fingers! Chuck a load of Quorn in it too.

Ok, now get your lovely sauce, tip the Garlic, Bacon Crumbles and Parsley in and mix it up baby! If you have it in your blender container like me, shake your money maker and pretend you are making a fabulous cocktail for a gorgeous mexican on your gap year in Guadalajara. Close your eyes and live it…

Ok, now shove it all over the Quorn. I topped with some fresh Parsley, because green.

Trim the edges of your Pastry, but leave some just over the rim to attach to the Pastry lid. Roll out your other sheet, plop it on top and trim. Now squidge and squeeze the edges together and make sure it’s totally sealed. You’ll need a slit in the middle to let the steam escape and avoid a messy oven catastrophe… I made a V for obvious reasons, but you can do whatever stoopid pattern you like, or just stab it to get some frustration out, your call.

Brush it with a teeny bit of plant milk, or oil, and shove it in the oven! It should take around 20-25 minutes, but the only thing that matters is what the top looks like, if your pastry is golden and pastry-ish, grab that bad boy from the oven and do a happy dance… a Mexican folk dance would be good to go along the gap year theme. You know how to do that right?! Chop that beauty up and serve it with some colourful veg. 

Eat it with your mouth.

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