I have decided to reject veganism

First off… hi!
I have been very quiet for a long time, it’s been a while since I got my laptop out for various reasons.
1: I have been on a ‘finding myself’ journey since I turned vegan almost 3 years ago and it has all come to a crescendo in the past month or two, resulting in me taking some time out.
2: My mental health has been kicking me in the butt.
3: I have had a 30 day Facebook ban for suggesting that men who sexually harass women and the men who defend those men, are trash. Not allowed to say that shit in public apparently.
We must be nice to predators.

So, for those of you who are unaware of what a Faceboook ban is like… I get to see everything and everyone gets to see all of my profile and interact with it, comment, react, post on my wall etc… but I cannot do squitty about it.
I can’t even ‘like’ someones comment.
I can’t reply to messages in my inbox, so it looks like I have read and I’m ignoring.
Frustrating huh?
Yes, particularly frustrating being an activist as most of my posts are pretty provocative and get shared quite a bit, which means that people are still commenting on my posts from 6 months ago and I can’t counter any comments or give any more information.

So I decided that 30 days was way too long to watch people blast veganism, feminism and all my anti-oppression posts without being able to educate or stand up for anyone and so I deactivated my profile with the intention of reactivating it once the ban was lifted.
I did set up a new profile in which I added only those who I thought were 100% intersectional, supportive, decent people.
Around 30 individuals.
Yesterday, I had around a week left of my ban and decided to have a look and see what everyone was up to.
This provoked me to step back onto my smaller side-profile, and type out this:

“I just took a look at my banned profile just to see what everyone is up to and I am absolutely gutted to my core, I literally feel sick, at the amount of friends who I once considered compassionate people having absolutely disgusting opinions regarding recent events.

I am pretty certain I will NOT be reactivating my profile.
I think I can say I am wholeheartedly DONE with Facebook.
If anyone wants to chat in future, i’ll be on Insta.”

Many of you may have already guessed what this may be about.
For those of you who haven’t, I need to give you a MASSIVE CONTENT WARNING.
I am now going to go on to talk about mental health and suicide.
Please do not read on unless you are in a good place today.

For those who aren’t and cannot read on, please know that you are absolutely needed in this world, whatever you may think of yourself or however you believe others perceive you.
You are wanted. You are needed. You are amazing. You make this world better. Whether you believe that or not – it doesn’t stop it being true.

On we go.
Naturally, my friends were curious.
I went on to say this in the comments.
I use swears. So if you are sensitive to language, shit’s about to get real.

“Cw: suicide.
I am fucking angry and this is a rant.
.
.
I am so disgusted by the amount of vegans who have used their veganism as an excuse to spread vitriolic hate about (someone committing) suicide, actual fucking suicide, something that destroys peoples lives every single day, something that everyone is connected to in one form of another, further stigmatising mental health in the most abhorrent, disgusting and dangerous manner.
People who are in a place where they feel suicide is the only way out, do you know what they think?
They genuinely think that it doesn’t matter if they die.
That the world would be better off without them.
They feel worthless and a burden on others.
Among many other dark and horrific feelings.

Those who are using a man’s tragic suicide as a way to slam non vegans are hideous human beings.

It’s.
Not.
About.
Him.

It’s.
Not.
About.
Veganism.

IT’S.
ABOUT.
SUICIDE.

It’s about all the people who feel like he did RIGHT NOW reading vile comments about him saying that he is ‘better off dead’ when they feel like they would be ‘better off dead’.
That the ‘world is better off without him’ when they feel like the world would be ‘better off without them’.
That this man is worth nothing because of the things he has said or done, when they sit up every single night playing over and over again all the things they have said and done and feel like they are the worst human being on the planet too.

After reading all those things that confirm their deepest darkest fears and showing them that suicide is the only option because they feel the way he did and believe people feel the same way about them that they feel about him… what do you think happens next?

THERE IS NO FUCKING EXCUSE FOR TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE WHO COMMIT SUICIDE IN A NEGATIVE WAY.

YOU DONT HAVE TO LIKE HIM.
YOU CAN HATE HIM ALL YOU WANT.
BUT IF YOU DON’T HAVE SOMETHING SUPPORTIVE AND RESPECTFUL TO SAY ABOUT SUICIDE THEN DON’T FUCKING SAY ANYTHING.

DON’T.

FUCKING.

TALK.

ABOUT.

SUICIDE.

UNLESS.

IT’S.

TO.

SUPPORT.

VICTIMS.”

I feel like I said everything that I needed to say on the matter, but one of the ‘intersectional vegans’ I chose to friend on my side-profile still seemed to be confused about the severity of situation, and the dangers of talking negatively about someone who commits suicide, regardless of the type of human being we think they are.
So I feel the need to go into it a little further, albeit briefly, here:

*clears throat*

No one asked you for your opinion on the type of person you think he was.
Those who do not give an opinion are not automatically condoning his behavior.
Your opinion will not change his behavior.
Your opinion will not change time and make him go vegan.
Your opinion will only make those who feel like suicide is a valid option, feel ‘sure’ that suicide is a valid option.
Your opinion is only making those with mental health issues (a shit load of people) see that the vegan community is not a safe space for them.
You are only speaking negatively about someone to make yourself feel better as your opinion will not make a difference or ‘save’ any animals, so it is purely about your ego, a high five from your friends and mob mentality.
Your opinion on him does not do anything for animals.
Your opinion on him only validates suicide for suicidal people.

Your opinion on him does not do anything for animals.
Your opinion on him only validates suicide for suicidal people.

YOUR OPINION ON HIM DOES NOT DO ANYTHING FOR ANIMALS.
YOUR OPINION ON HIM ONLY VALIDATES SUICIDE FOR SUICIDAL PEOPLE.

This has been a tipping point for me.
I am a vegan.
I will always be a vegan.
I will continue to talk about veganism.
But with the amount of racist, misogynist, ableist, classist and homophobic people there are in the vegan movement, I no longer want to be associated with these people.
Vegans, as a community, are not my people.
So, very soon (once I have set myself on a new name) I will no longer be using the term ‘vegan’ in my name.
A term that prides itself on being free from the blood of animals whilst being smothered with the blood of human beings.

That is not good enough for me.
I reject it.
Veganism, as it stands, is not cruelty free.

It is time to say ‘goodbye’ to Weird Vegan Lady.
And ‘hello’ to a name that rejects nastiness, hatred and ego.

Weird Lady out.

reject veganism

EDIT: A few points I would like to address regarding some comments.

1: I was pretty nervous when I posted this, but I am absolutely ecstatic with the amount of beautiful intersectional vegans (80:20) coming out of the woodwork… and even some anti-intersectionals putting our differences aside for the sake of intersectionalism regarding mental health. It’s a great step forward that makes me so happy!

2: A couple of you are underestimating my intelligence… *side eye*

3: Even if it ‘wasn’t’ the majority of vegans who were behaving like this and it was just ‘one or two’… why would you, as compassionate people, decide to fight someone calling those individuals out instead of using that energy to say ‘Oh my gosh, that’s awful, those people are terrible, vegans should not behave this way.’ ?

4: It is not one or two people. It is the vast majority of vegans. Just look at the comments on here and Facebook and Instagram on this post alone. Then hear me when I tell you that I have been fighting ableism, misogyny, racism, classism and homophobia WITHIN the vegan community for the last few months and that is another BIG reason why I haven’t been blogging as much and one of the reasons my own mental health has been declining.
You see, I thought I had found my compassionate family.
Now I realise – after months of fighting for compassion from the very people who masqueraded as compassionate – that the vegan community, as a whole, is only compassionate towards certain species.
And those who are intersectional do not take this personally, because they know I am not talking about them, I am talking about the wider community.
So if you feel offended by this post, you need to figure out why you feel more offended by me pointing out that ‘other vegans’ are laughing at suicide, rather than feeling offended by the fact that other vegans are laughing at suicide.

23 Comments Add yours

  1. Maya says:

    Couldn’t agree more. Some vegans are just so fucking vile; (pardon the French) I was asking in a vegan Facebook about dealing with cravings for cheese and I got multiple hateful comments, some even attacking me over my sexuality, calling me a ‘stupid dyke’ (my profile picture at the time was a picture of me cuddling my s/o). More times than not, I feel ashamed to label myself vegan as so many are just hateful, cruel people who take pleasure in upsetting and insulting others. My sexuality has nothing to do with veganism– why even mention it?!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Laurie says:

      I totally agree with everything you say. My daughter and I had this exact conversation today. Both ‘vegan’ but hating the absolute awfulness that is some people. They don’t help our cause only make us seem like bad people, which were generally not.
      I try not to use the word vegan but it’s hard to explain how I feel in a few words.
      I’m off to find you on instagram 💐need a new email address myself 🙄
      Keep you chin up lovely.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Anne Thomas says:

    That’s so sad! All the vegans I know are active in fighting racism, homophobia, etc., and are compassion toward those who have killed themselves, but they are all people in my social circle. I’m appalled to learn that there are vegans who aren’t like that. How can people be involved in something that is based on compassion and yet be so cruel? Maybe they became vegan for health reasons, not because they are against cruelty and killing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. weirdveganlady says:

      I wish that was my own experience of vegans…

      Like

  3. Anne Thomas says:

    “compassionate toward,” not “compassion toward”

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Good for you. I switched to calling myself plant based, the vegan ‘police’ do so much harm to vegans and non-vegans alike 🤐

    Liked by 1 person

    1. weirdveganlady says:

      Agreed

      Like

  5. Kat Alexis says:

    I didn’t like the comments about that chef dying either. I didn’t really know who he was but it is unbelievably sad when people commit suicide. Okay so people didn’t like him for one reason or another but to say they’re glad he’s dead is awful

    Liked by 1 person

  6. E says:

    I had this exact conversation with a vegan client today. We both agreed there a heck of a lot of angry vegans out there and it’s too much so I’m just going to keep myself to myself now.
    I offered my advice to someone in a local vegan group regarding a definition of what ‘mink lashes’ were (obviously not real mink when I have a vegan beauty salon! However I thought I’d share my knowledge considering I’m vegan and an eyelash tech so pretty qualified to know what they were!) but rather than it’s the trade name they’ve always been called because they resemble individual mink hairs. There began the negativity and scolding from a vegan in the group who was so angry and how dare it be called that and they can’t be cruelty free if that’s in the name… “now I’ve been told”…well I’m sorry lady but I can’t change the name of a product that is called that in the entire world 🙄😂 I can’t cope with angry vegans any more. I’m sick of not being good enough for them when I’m trying my absolute hardest and changed my entire business and it’s still not perfect enough for them.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. weirdveganlady says:

      You most certainly are perfect enough Mrs!

      Like

  7. Heather says:

    While I understand where you’re coming from, I don’t think your choice of not being associated with “vegans” any more is a good one. We are all human, and within humanity there are vile people but you won’t say your not human anymore? If intersectional vegans disassociate themselves from the vegan movement then all any non- vegans will see is the stereotypical angry vegans that makes them feel justified in not being vegan in the first place. The majority of vegans (just like the majority of people) are not bad people and by shying away from the loud minority you are hurting the true vegan cause (equality and a right to live without torture for all).

    Obviously, you need to do what it right for you. I just wanted to make sure you were aware of your impact within that choice.

    Like

  8. Breazy says:

    Good for you for speaking out, trying to make things right. I refer to myself as whole food plant based and educate others when they ask. Take care of yourself and do what you feel is good for you. None of our comments really in the end matter…take care of you and yours. Hugs and love.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Amanda says:

    So do you consume animal products or not?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. weirdveganlady says:

      “This has been a tipping point for me.
      I am a vegan.
      I will always be a vegan.
      I will continue to talk about veganism.
      But with the amount of racist, misogynist, ableist, classist and homophobic people there are in the vegan movement, I no longer want to be associated with these people.
      Vegans, as a community, are not my people.”

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Amanda says:

        You know what I can get that because that’s precisely my position toward feminism and liberalism.

        Even on topics that I hold a feminist or liberal position, I still don’t label myself that way because the cringey, mental people who represent those labels are an embarrassment.

        Like

  10. dailynegativity says:

    Nice post: eye-catching and thought-provoking.

    It seems to me that the challenge we now face, as a result of frequent misuses of veganism, is to fundamentally Reclaim this word, to restore the inherent dignity and meaning thereof. If, however, this cannot be done, perhaps we should, as you suggest, dispense with it entirely. The reason why I hesitate to do this is because I think veganism as a designation is a thoroughly useful one (as I’m sure you do as well), and moreover, growing in public familiarity. It would be a real pity, therefore, if the word were to become synonymous with hatred and misanthropy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. weirdveganlady says:

      Unfortunately, veganism has a HUGE amount of bigoted and nasty voices who put veganism first even when it alienates and discriminates against marginalised people. Most vegans will say unhelpful things like ‘I am just vegan for the animals only’ or ‘I don’t care for people, any people’ which actually hurts the vegan movement by excluding those groups. It’s been a while (with a lot of energy wasted) that I have been trying to educate vegans on Intersectionalism. There is problematic language/attitudes in almost every post I come across and the vast majority of reactions are dismissive (at best) when someone attempts to help the vegan in question advocate with a more inclusive approach. After trying all day, every day for months… the tragic death of Anthony Bourdain and the shit show that came afterwards was the final straw for me. I have put in a lot of effort, and I will continue to, but it is my choice to reject being a part of the vegan community and after much deliberation, it is a decision I will be sticking with unless there comes a time in which veganism is as compassionate as it pretends to be 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  11. dailynegativity says:

    Absolutely; it’s remarkable to me how often people fail to see that these movements are intimately connected, and that the relationship between them is usually one of mutual implication. Vegans who do not recognize the need for universal love and justice, and who think we can respect other animals without respecting other humans, are no more consistent than people who claim to respect dogs but not cows. In any case, I fully understand your decision, and agree that it is, unfortunately, well-founded.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I know nothing about veganism, but this post makes you my new hero, I FUCKING LOVE IT!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. rural_veggie_gal says:

    As a vegan and person with several mental health issues, I definitely identify with a lot of what you say in this post. I will say, that I’ve been fortunate to not encounter fellow vegans like the ones that you have. So sorry that you’re going through this, but you’re not alone!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. all too often, the ones who get banned by faceplant are the ones who should be lauded. you are a prime example.
    anyone who has ever experienced suicide, suicidal thoughts, a dark place deep within, depression, despair…intense loneliness…knows all too well what you are saying. many of these are indicators of mental illness. a number of them aren’t however.
    but few of these are noticeable without some clues-all too often not forthcoming until it’s well past being too late. if one is lucky and sensitive, there may be cries for help that may be discernible…but only if the other(s) are able to recognise such cries.

    what you have said here is both honest and true.
    thank you.

    Michael.

    Liked by 1 person

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